Looking back to the summer I was eighteen I realize I was immature in many ways. For one thing, most kids my age had graduated from high school, but I still had a year to go. I missed most of fifth grade recovering from an auto accident and had to repeat it. It set me back socially as well. I was shy and still felt like an awkward adolescent. As far as sex goes, I would say that at that point I was omnisexual.

Everything in the whole damn world turned me on! Girls with cute figures, guys with cute figures - a dog with a nice ass might make me hot. You get the picture. Now, what was I doing about any of this? Only what every lonely teenage boy does to release the pressure and keep the sheets dry. That is, until what I thought was a terrible idea turned out to be the sexiest thing that ever happened to me. "Mom! You can't be serious," I wailed. "You want me to spend the summer with my grandparents. What's the matter? Couldn't you find a jail that would take me?" "Zack, don't be so dramatic. You know your grandparents adore you and spoil you rotten. And they live on the beach in Southern California, for heaven's sake! Most kids would die for a chance like that." In my heart I knew Mom had a point, but I bitched for awhile anyway.

The truth was that ever since my Dad died in that car wreck when I was ten, I hated to be away from Mom and my two older sisters. I never quite got over thinking I could find myself alone in the world at any minute. But Mom and my sisters were working all summer and I'd be on my own most of the time. So I finally quit complaining and got used to the idea of spending the summer getting a tan and eating my Grandma's wonderful cooking. When I got to SoCal I discovered that Grandpa had arranged for me to have a job helping out at the lifeguard station near their home. Grandpa was a great believer in hard work and he found it easy to get me hired when he proudly showed off the pictures of all my swim team ribbons. So after a couple days of stuffing myself in Grandma's kitchen and lusting after everything that moved on the streets of the small beach town, I went to work. Grandpa had told me to report to a "nice young man named Quinn." When I asked for him one of the guys shouted his name and around the corner came the hunkiest guy I had ever seen in my life.

Talk about your tanned California gods! He was over six feet tall with the firm body of somebody who exercises daily, but isn't so bulked that he looks like The Hulk. He was blond, of course, with those streaks the sun brings out, but instead of the expected blue eyes, his were bright green. When he saw me, he flashed a smile that made me feel really funny inside. Funny like when I looked at the pictures in a porn magazine. "You must be Zack," he said, putting out his hand for me to shake. His hand was big and warm in mine. "Your Granddad described you very well." "Uh, what did he tell you?" I managed to ask. For some reason my throat was tight and my voice almost wouldn't come out. "He said you were the handsomest young man on the planet, not to mention the smartest and the hardest working – and, of course, the best swimmer." One of the guys who was standing around said, "And you recognized him from that?"

Quinn laughed. It was a deep, warm laugh that kind of made me melt inside. "Well, it helped that he showed me a picture of him." He grinned at me again. I probably would have stood there all day, as long as I could look at Quinn, but he immediately started giving me information about my duties. There was plenty to do and I was relieved to get to it. Before I started, though, Quinn said, "We usually have a bonfire on the beach at night, just for the crew to get better acquainted. I hope you'll join us." I tried to tell myself that I eagerly agreed because I was anxious to make new friends, but, to tell the truth, if Quinn had asked me to join him in cleaning a septic tank I would have been just as eager. I worked hard all day, but it was really fun. I wore a tank top that had the lifeguard service logo on it, so lots of people smiled at me and talked to me. I'd always felt a little invisible at home, but here I was treated like a somebody. I did my best to concentrate on my assignments, but the thought that I was going to hang out with Quinn that night was always on my mind. I spent the whole dinner telling my grandparents what a great job it was and how happy I was to be there. I could tell they were really touched to hear it.

I know they had worried about me a lot since the accident. I had been pretty depressed much of the time, because I survived, but Dad was gone. They were more than glad to let me go to the bonfire with my new friends. They even gave me a key to the house and told me not to worry about getting in before they went to bed. "We hit the sack early," said Grandpa, "and the kids around here like to stay on the beach pretty late." "Just be sure you get enough sleep to get up for work," added Grandma. I promised I would and eagerly headed back to the beach. Most of the crew was there, minus a few who had told the others they had "hot dates." The guys laughed about what a babe magnet the logo tank tops were. "There is just something about a lifeguard that makes them want to get their sweet little hands on you," said a guy named Mike and all the others laughed and nodded.

I was wondering why Quinn didn't have a date, since he was clearly the best looking guy there and his shirt even said "head lifeguard." Surely he could have had his pick of any girl on the beach. "Maybe he just feels like he needs to be with his crew," I thought. He might have a girl coming by later. We hung out for a couple of hours and then the guys started drifting away. Finally it was just Quinn and me sitting by the fire. I thought he'd excuse himself, but instead he moved over next to me on the log where I was sitting and started asking me about myself. I told him about my home town, my school, and stuff. Before I realized it I was telling him about my Dad and how rough it had been without him. "I'm so sorry, Zack," he said, and shocked me by putting his arm around me and pulling me up against his side.

I told myself he was just comforting me like he would a small child and I really did feel better leaning on him. We talked about Quinn's life, too. He told me he was 21 and would be a college senior in the fall. He was studying architecture. Eventually the subject got around to sex, as it always seems to with guys. He asked me what my sexual experiences had been like. "Lonesome, since I was the only one there," I admitted. "Well, there was the time I got a girl to rub my dick a couple of strokes through my clothes and the time I got another one to let me put my hands under her t-shirt. It would have been more exciting if she hadn't been wearing a bra." "Ever do anything with a guy?" he asked. That question and the fact that he was still holding me to his side gave me an instant boner. "A couple of circle jerks in junior high," I told him. "Did you like it?" "Yeah," I was surprised to hear myself admit.

"But the guys lost interest fast and went out looking for girlfriends. "Do you think you'd want to do more with a guy?" I'm not stupid so I knew what he was saying. "If the guy was you, I think I'd want to do anything." "Are you sure? I'm a lot older than you and I know who I am, but this might not be right for you. If you have any doubts, just tell me and that will be the end of it. We can be very good friends without having sex, Zack. I really care about you already." Looking at him in the firelight I knew I'd hate myself forever if I let this chance pass. "I'm sure," I told him and suddenly I truly was.

"Stand up, then, and we'll give you something to remember besides jacking off." I stood and faced him as he sat on the log. I expected him to pull down my swim trunks and get right at it, but instead he stood up, too, and kissed me on the lips. When I had thought of what gay guys do, I'd never thought about a tender kiss like that. It melted me right down to my bare feet. He put his tongue in my mouth and sucked on my lower lip in a way that nearly made me come, then and there. We kissed for what seemed like forever and it felt so right. The slight prickle of his five-o'clock shadow, making it very clear that this was a man in my arms, made me so hot.

Eventually he began to kiss my neck and then worked his way down my chest, licking and nibbling in a way that made me so hard it hurt. All the time he was telling me how handsome I am and how he'd been wanting to do this from the minute he met me. I was stammering how gorgeous he was and how I had wanted this, too, even though I hadn't admitted it to myself. Mostly, though, I was groaning and trying to breathe. When his mouth reached my waist he eased down my trunks and freed my raging hard-on. "May I kiss your beautiful cock, Zack?" he asked. My knees started to buckle and I just kept groaning, "Yes, yes, yes!" He sat down on the log and took me in his mouth. My God, I'd had no idea anything could feel so good!

He slid his lips all the way down to my balls and then pulled back, licking the length of my shaft and then the slit at the end. He had my ass cheeks in his hands and he kept pulling me toward his face and then stroking back again, doing wonderful things with his tongue and even biting me gently. I wanted this to last forever and I tried to hold back, but eighteen years of horniness got the better of me and I told him, "I'm cumming!" way too soon. I expected him to pull off, but he kept sucking me and moaned with what sounded like pleasure when I shot a blast into his throat. He must have swallowed my cum because it was nowhere to be found when he finally took his mouth off of me.

Without thinking about it, I dropped to my knees and kissed him on the mouth. I could taste myself when I plunged my tongue in. "Let me do it to you," I begged. I suddenly needed to do that so bad! "You don't have to. A lot of first-timers don't want to." "I want to! I've GOT to!" He flashed that bone-melting grin. "Well, don't let me stop you, then." I pulled down his swimsuit and looked at his cock for the first time. It was about the same length as mine, but thicker. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. I reached out and stroked it with my hand and felt myself getting hard all over again. I was going to get to suck this hard, wonderful cock! "Let's lay down," Quinn suggested. He settled himself on his back in the sand and I lay down between his legs. Damn, it was exciting just to be there, close enough to smell him and to see the little drop of precum glistening on the head of his cock. He groaned when I put my mouth on him and then I just went crazy. I didn't think about what I was doing at all, I just let myself go and did everything that felt good.

I licked, sucked and chewed on every part of his prick, and rubbed his hairy balls. He kept telling me how wonderful it was, that he loved what I was doing. My own cock was hard as a rock again. "I'm cumming, Zack," he panted and I plunged my mouth to the root of his cock and was rewarded with a hot jet of his cum in my throat. I couldn't swallow it all, but I did the best I could. Some of the big load dripped out when he pulled out of my mouth after a couple of wonderful minutes. He urged me up on top of him then and held me. I'd never felt so close to another human being. We lay like that for a long time. "I can't help but notice that you seem to be ready for another go-round," Quinn finally said. My prick was still as hard as it can get. "I live in that little cabin right there.

Do you want to come in for more?" Naturally I followed him into his cabin. It was a one-room place with a kitchenette and a small bathroom. There were a couple of chairs and a TV and a great big bed. He led me right to it. He reached into the bedside table and pulled out a condom packet and a tube. I assumed he planned to ass-fuck me, which excited me, but scared me a little, too. He ripped open the package, but instead of putting the rubber on himself, he grabbed my cock and slipped it over my hard-on. "I get checked regularly and I know I'm healthy, but wear this anyway. ALWAYS wear one. Take care of yourself for all of us who care about you, OK?" I nodded, too choked-up to talk.

Between knowing that I was going to get to fuck him first and that he really cared about me, I was blown-away. He lay down on the bed on his back. "I like it doggie-style most of the time," he told me, "but this time I want to watch your face while you fuck me." He handed me the tube, which was a lubricant, and told me to rub it on and in his asshole. I loved the feeling of touching him there, especially when I put my finger inside him. He then told me to put some on the rubber. "It's lubed, but you have a pretty big cock and I haven't done this for awhile so I might need extra." "Why haven't you done it?" "I like to keep this for men I really have feelings for." I didn't know what to say, but I knew that I loved this man. I knew he would always be my first true love.

He slid to the edge of the bed and lifted his legs and I eased my cock into his asshole. The heat and the tightness of it felt great even before I started stroking in and out. Somehow I just knew what the rhythm of it should be, even though I'd never fucked anything but the palm of my hand and Quinn's sweet, hot mouth. I kept telling him how great it felt and he kept encouraging me to do it as hard as felt good to me. "I want you all," he said. "Pound me with your hard cock, lover!" He was stroking his own prick as we fucked and watching my face. The orgasm, when it came, was the most explosive of my young life. Seeing him come right afterwards only made it better. I stayed inside him for as long as I could, and then pulled my deflated penis out of his hole. He got up then, kissed me, and went into the bathroom. He came back with a warm, damp washcloth and peeled the filled condom off of me, then washed me. He cleaned his own stomach and then lay down on the bed and motioned me to join him.

He pulled me against him, spoon-fashion and held me for a long time. Finally I said, "Do you want to fuck me now?" "You have no idea how much, but I don't think you're ready." "Oh, I want to, Quinn. I want to very much." "I know you do, sweetheart, but I don't think your body is ready. An asshole isn't really designed for a cock to plunge right in, you know. It will hurt like hell." "That's OK," I told him. "I really want you there." "And I'll be there, I promise," he said, kissing the back of my neck. "But let's make you ready for it slowly so you can really enjoy your first time." "How?" "Let's start with something a lot smaller than my cock. Give me the lubricant." I handed him the tube and he rubbed a generous amount on his index finger and told me to roll onto my stomach. When I did he rubbed lube on my asshole and put his finger in me. It felt wonderful! It surprised me because I always hated it when the doctor did that. He worked his finger around inside my hole, stroking and stretching the walls while I imagined it was his cock in there.

He worked on it for several minutes. "Am I ready yet?" I asked, eagerly. "It's going to take more than my finger to do that job. We'll work at it over time and I promise it will be worth it." I groaned with disappointment. In later years I realized what a loving thing he did for me. Several of my gay friends suffered intense pain their first time and their selfish lovers couldn't have cared less. He gave me another satisfying blow-job while he fingered my ass and then sent me home to get some sleep. Everyday after that went by in a haze of happiness. I worked all day, sneaking touches and kisses with Quinn whenever I could get away with it.

Every night we'd gather at the bonfire where several of the guys became my life-long friends. After they left we'd go in Quinn's cabin and make love for hours. We loved to sixty-nine and he often let me fuck him. Over the next few days we'd finish each night's lovemaking with Quinn stretching my hole with a bigger and bigger dildo, ending with a huge one that I couldn't believe, when I first saw it, was ever going to go in there. Finally it did, however, and after he fucked me with it Quinn left it in my ass while he blew me. God, it was the best feeling! Finally our special night arrived. I was so excited at the bonfire that I nearly came in my shorts just thinking about what we were going to do. When we went into the cabin I was touched to see that Quinn had set up a romantic scene.

There were candles lit all over the room and soft music was playing. He started by massaging me all over with a great smelling oil and then he let me massage him. He told me with a grin that the oil was edible and proceeded to lick and suck all over my body – except my prick. "I'm saving that for later," he told me. I tried to do the same for him, but he said he couldn't wait much longer to make love to me. Finally he put on a condom and rubbed lubricant all over it. He rolled me over and had me get on my knees with my butt in the air. I couldn't believe how excited I was and just a little scared. As if he could read my mind he whispered, "Don't worry, my cock is smaller than the last two dildos we used. This won't hurt, lover, I promise." I felt him rub lube on my hole and then his cockhead touched me. I almost came right then. He slowly worked his way into me and he was right, it didn't hurt at all.

It felt so good! His hard, warm cock was inside my body in the most intimate way two men can be together. I could feel tears of happiness in my eyes. He started stroking inside me in the most exciting way. When he got the rhythm going he reached around and grabbed my hard cock. I'd tried to do this for him when I'd fucked him doggie-style, but I'd always get so caught up in my own orgasm that I'd let go. Quinn didn't let go. He pounded into my ass and slid his hand up and down on my prick at the same time until we came at nearly the same moment. I was sobbing with happiness and telling him over and over how much I loved him and he was saying the same to me. The rest of the summer was full of hot sex and warm kisses. I wanted it to go on forever. Finally the time came for me to go home. I sobbed on Quinn's shoulder for what must have been an hour on our last night together.

"Zack, I wish things were different, too, but I have to go back to college and you have to go finish high school. This summer was magical, but we have to go back to our real lives now. And, Zack, don't make any rash promises about keeping yourself for me until we can be together again. (Which is exactly what I was going to do.) You're a young man with lots of experience now. You'll need sex soon and often. So will I. We'll never forget each other, but we'll move on as we were meant to do. Get together with any willing partner who attracts you – you might even give girls another chance. But, please, always remember that your first partner truly loved you and will remember you for the rest of his life." At that we made beautiful love for the last time. I did move on. In fact I was quite a slut for awhile there. It was amazing how many gay guys I found in my home town, once I really started looking.

I even gave girls another chance and failed miserably. I really liked Sue and had been dating her for about three months when I tried to have intercourse with her. When I couldn't get it up, she thought it was her fault, but I told her about my gay experiences and she was great about it. She's still one of my best friends and last year she and her husband did me the honor of making me godfather to their first baby. I've kept in touch with Quinn, although we were never together again in the sexual sense. He found his true mate in his senior year and they settled down together in San Diego, where Quinn is a rising star in architecture and his partner, Bill, is an assistant District Attorney. I'm getting my Masters in economics right now and six months ago I met the man I hope will be my life partner, but that's a story for another time.